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Different Loving
(The World of Sexual Dominance & Submission)
by Gloria G. Brame, William D. Brame and Jon Jacobs
Villard, New York, 539 pages
(book review)
by Guillermo
Bosch
All right. You know the routine. It began with the Kinsey Report (actually 100 years earlier, in Germany, with Heinrick Kann's Psychopathis Sexualis) to be followed by Masters and Johnson, then the Shere Hite surveys and scores of other imitators, all exploiting the theory that if one wants to write about cutting edge or taboo sexual topics, all one needs to do is package the writing as a "scientific" study, and then include plenty of "personal" anecdotes so readers can experience the thrill of the forbidden while maintaining a comfortable objective distance. "No Ma, this isn't a dirty book, it's a serious investigation of an important topic... Really....Now go away and leave me alone."
Well, readers won't be disappointed by Different Loving, a recent entry into the field, if they stick to the "Interviews" sections of each chapter (where numerous individuals detail their experiences participating in various "scenes") and skim the "What is ________ ?", "What Do They Like?", "What Do They Do?" and "Why Do They Like It?" sections, which tend to be filled with psycho-babble intended to provide an intellectual veneer and justify sexual practices that the authors continually proclaim "need no justification." (All right, I agree. Then why use all those pages to justify them? This is a VERY thick book.)
But then, you may wonder, why should we criticize a book which is only doing what the genre is supposed to do? Well this reviewer is put-off by the hypocritical come-on, but I should be fair: Different Loving is, at times, a very interesting book. To the authors' credit, most Dominance & Submission practices are included: Bondage, Spanking, Whipping, Corsetting, Tattooing, Piercing, Water Sports, Golden Showers and Enemas. (There are many more that I will allow curious readers to discover for themselves). I assume Tattooing and Piercing will not seem exotic or bizarre to Sauce*Box readers, on the other hand, Water Sports and Golden Showers may (or may not) need some explanation. (These are definitely not references to beach activities!)
Also to the authors' credit is their sincere attempt to be non-judgmental about any of the sexual activities they investigate. This non-judgmental attitude begins with their insistence on the term Dominance & Submission (D&S) rather then the more emotionally charged Sado-Mechanism (S&M), and the title, Different Loving, with the accent on the word "different" to illustrate the writers' contention that even those who indulge in the most "shocking" fantasies are motivated by an earnest desire for a loving and pleasurable union and that such fantasies are not "bad," simply different.
Still, despite ernest efforts to appear otherwise, Different Loving remains captive to many of the same societal attitudes it wishes to condemn: The titillating cover depicts a thigh-high, stiletto heeled, lace up pair of black leather boots and a black leather bullwhip, while inside there is a disclaimer which reads, "This book explores highly controversial and risky sexual activities. Readers should not attempt any of the activities described in these pages." Hmmm. Sounds awfully judgmental to me. Or is the disclaimer just another come-on?
Readers can make up their own minds for $18 (trade paperback).
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