this is love
by Joshua Citrak

I met her last night in a drunken stupor. Alison. She was on the dance floor shaking her thing and I was sitting with the rest of the rats at the bar in dirty clothes and racetrack debt. I think she felt sorry for me slumped over my stool, fingering my hotel key to an off interstate shit hole sinking into abysmal dissolution. She talked to me for awhile, I bought her a few drinks on credit, each one bringing her hand closer to my crotch. It was a good deal, she got drunk and I got a few good looks, silk panties, then I blacked out and woke up here, her house I think, with most of my money gone, my head pounding and a load in my nuts. I had just finished jerking off when the doorbell rang. I used the dishrag to wipe myself off, folded it and placed it back into the cupboard, sticky side down. I didn't have any jelly, that's why I was in the kitchen, olive oil works pretty good, it leaves your cock feeling soft and healthy.

"Uh, huh?" I said flinging open the door my half limp cock dangling in the breeze.

The man was unfazed, holding two bags of groceries. "Im here to deliver the groceries for a Mrs. Alison Simon." He said staring at my cock. Maybe he was jealous.

"What are you, some kind of sicko?" I said, but not feeling the least bit embarrassed.

"Only olive oil can bring out the sheen in a cock like that." His name tag said, "Roy, associate since 1982."

I shielded my eyes from the sun, trying to get a better look at this creep. "What kind of creep are you? What the fucks your problem looking at my cock? You wanna suck it? Is that it? You wanna suck my cock? You faggot! Get the fuck outta here! Go back to Frisco! Just leave the groceries on the goddamn porch and get the hell out of here!"

"You must be cold." He said dragging his eyes away from my privates, and setting the groceries down on the steps. Maybe he wasn't jealous. "Yep. Real cold." He mumbled something else that I couldn't hear and then kind of chuckled to himself, turned and walked back to his van. He waved to the neighbors next door watering their lawn, they said a few words back, and he smiled and shook his head, got in and drove off.

Roy lit a cigarette and looked into the rear view mirror. His wife. In ten years of marriage he had failed to fully grasp it, and each time it happened, he wanted to explode with rage. Alison was fucking around on him again. How many times was this? He couldn't remember. He didn't want to remember even if he could. And this latest one? What a fucking scumbag. But, what the fuck could he do? The last time he went into a rage over this Alison kicked him out. He couldn't bear that he needed her, even if she didn't want him, or love him. He needed to be near her, smell her perfume, have her long brown hair stuck to his clothing so he could pick it off though out the day.

He turned right on Sixth Ave and pulled over in front of old lady Henderson's house. He sat in the van for a minute, spying on the school girls in the park across the street. He watched them smoke their cigarettes and flip their hair. He rubbed the flexed muscle in his pants until it bulged out of his jeans. He cursed his conscience and got out of the van and walked around to the back door.

He opened it up and searched through the paper bags to find the one marked Henderson. He found it and dumped out the Metamucil and diapers, and refilled it with a six pack, a carton of cigarettes and a box of condoms. He imagined those young, tender bodies sprawled naked among the fresh produce and cereal boxes in the back of the van and felt his bulge rise again. No relief, no release.

It took old Mrs. Henderson ten minutes to come to the door. " I don't get around like I used to." She chuckled. "I used to have quite a hoot in my heyday."

He rolled his eyes and walked by her to the kitchen and started putting the groceries in the cabinets. He felt kind of sorry for shut ins like her, always wearing the same old house coat and sagging nylons. Roy looked at her shriveled, hunched figure and smiled.

"Where is my non-dairy milk?" She asked him as she hobbled over to the counter top.

"I already put it away." He lied, then felt guilty over it, so he asked her if there was anything he could maybe do for her since he was there. She was too old to get up and down the stairs, so Roy offered to bring down a few boxes of photo albums that she said she wanted to look at. The second floor was void of nearly all furnishings save an old tarnished brass bed that she shared with her late husband. Hendersons house smelled stale, like mothballs and moldy boxes of Mason jars. He tip toed around searching for the right box so as not to disturb any ghosts that might be sleeping in the cold, damp loneliness.

Henderson kept him a few minutes extra, chatting about nonsense and the weather, but he had to cut her short, again feeling guilty, but this time he didn't care. Mrs. Argotti was the next stop, and she was always very hungry.

"What the hell did you buy all this non-dairy milk for." I asked Alison.

"What?"

"Where the hell is the beer?" I searched the all the brown sacks.

"Fuckin Roy. That cocksucker." Alison brushed her hair out of her eyes and bit her upper lip. Her nipples were hard, and I hadn't done anything to turn her on.

"What?" I said, staring at her breasts.

"He's just pissed at me that's all."

"What? Who?"

"Forget it, Ill just run down to the corner store." She closed the cupboard and took a deep breath. Roy knew this was what she wanted, wasn't it? She muttered to herself, Him to be jealous, maybe come to his senses and love her for Chris'sake. Alison had been waiting for years it had slowly tapered off, the passion, the hot fucking. Maybe this time Roy would come back to her. They'd have a long talk, and then who knows? She smiled, her nipples were hard. She wanted to fuck other guys, for him? It sounded absurd to her and she laughed, if he can get some, why can't I? Why do I have to wait for him like some goddamn barefoot bride?

Roy got out of his van and walked in with a bag full of grade AA eggs and canned tomatoes. He tossed them on the kitchen table and gave her the once over... she was hungry all right.

"You slut. I oughta slap the shit outta you."

"Umm." Mrs. Argotti was straddling a dining chair and pleasuring herself with one of old lady Henderson's cucumbers.

"What the hell did I tell you about ordering butter?"

"Ohh, yeah."

"I said margarine, goddamnit. Less fat, less cloresterol. You're such a stupid cunt, cant you get it through your head?" Roy went back out to the car to get another load of foodstuffs. When he came back Mrs. Argotti had lathered herself in blueberry yogurt.

"Fuck me now." She demanded. She grabbed on to his pant leg. "You fuck me now I need it inside me, oh baby" She couldn't talk anymore because he had stuck his cock in her mouth.

"Take it you bitch! All the way, all the way down." She milked his. He shoved it in further and she pulled back gagging. Roy grabbed Mrs. Argotti by the hair and threw her on the linoleum floor. "You worthless cunt! Didn't your man ever teach you how to suck dick?"

"Im, Im sorry" She started crying. "Its too big to fit"

"You bitch." And with the heel of his boot he pushed her back down onto the floor. "Let me see that asshole, and don't give me any shit about it hurtin"

It was never Roy's aspiration in life to be a grocery delivery boy. He was Thirty-five and still being called boy. He put up with that, and the other bogus shit that goes along with any job for the obvious, pleasurable perks. Hot, Horny, lonely housewives ready for any dick that waltzes through their front door. Hell, if he didn't do them it would probably be the mailman, or the milkman, or the landlord, or the out of work brother-in-law. Shit, they were probably all getting some too.

But Alison? His wife? What did she need with some punk ass kid? What didn't he do for her? He shuddered to think of his wife in the same manner that he thought of those housewife whores. He treated her good. Never hit her, hardly ever raised his voice maybe that was what he was missing. He's often heard it said that every woman is a whore, and why should Alison be different?

"Why the hell are you so late?" Alison yelled from the kitchen as soon as she heard the screen door click shut.

"Im sorry" He said. "late day a few extra deliveries." Roy shifted his eyes around the house looking for any unwanted visitors.

"Bullshit. You better not be at it again." Alison walked into the livingroom. "You better not be fucking some washed up whore on your route."

"Baby, cmon..." Roy stammered. "You know I wouldn't, I told you I wasn't."

"I know that you're a goddamn liar and that you've got loose cannon in your pants. I'm your wife, yet you give that ugly thing to any woman who'll take it."

"Baby, I'll give it to you right now, all you have to do is ask."

"I'll never touch that thing again! I know where its been."

While all this was taking place I was in the bathroom taking a shower. I was ignorant of the whole situation. So when I heard the yelling I thought I'd come to the rescue of my new fuck. Little did I know that she wasn't the one that needed rescuing.

"You again?" I said to Roy.

He just looked at me like this had happened far too many times before to rouse any bit of shock from his face. He shifted his eyes from me, to Alison and then to his shoes.

"See what you make me do?" said Alison starting up again. "I gotta go find young cock, cause all you bring home is that filthy limp thing and an even smaller paycheck."

Roy didn't look up. I was confused as all hell, but minute by minute it was becoming much clearer to me.

"When are you going to clean out the garage?" She put to him pointedly.

"Right now." He mumbles and shuffles back out the way he came.

"You'll have to get yourself some dinner too. I only made enough for Joe and me," Alison called after him. "Cock." She whispered under her breath. "Speaking of which" Alison fingered me under the wet towel that I had hastily wrapped around my waist.

"Get on your knees." I said and gave her a little push. She did and opened her mouth moaning for me to stick it in. I could see Roy's outline peering from the outside though the living room window watching his wife suck me dry.

Alison looked up at me and followed my gaze to the window where Roy was.

She got up and stormed over to him. "Oh, so you want to watch, huh? You sick bastard." She turned to me, "Get over here and stick your cock in my ass. Show this sick fuck how its really done."

I did, and she pressed her face against the screen moaning ostentatiously so the whole neighborhood could hear. I felt pretty good.

"Yeah, you think you can fuck like this?" I taunted Roy while I was pounding my meat in her willing asshole. She cried out in pain and in pleasure.

The veins in his head were swollen and ready to burst. Roy had about as much as he could take.

"You bitch." He said. "Is that what you are? Just another slut like the ones I fuck every goddamn day? That's right, I fuck them everyday. They want it. From me. They beg me to fuck em! They're sluts just like you! You slut, you whore!" He ripped through the screen and grabbed her by the throat and pushed me off her. "You're gonna see what a real man can do." He said to me shaking his fist.

"Oh baby, give it to me." She pleaded fingering herself. And I lay there sprawled out on the carpet ignored like a piece of clothing they had ripped off in passion. To my amazement Roy had made Alison so hot that she was drooling in anticipation, eager to lick every inch of his meat.

"You are such a little tramp, a stinkin whore!" He looked at me still laid out on the floor. "Tell her she's a whore, you little shit." He growled at me.

I did.

Roy and I said some of the nastiest things ever to Alison while he knocked her around the living room.

"I'm gonna rape you, you fuckin cunt! I'm gonna fuckin kill you! You're never gonna fuck around on me again!"

"Oh, baby! Rape me! Make me bleed. Drill me until the blood flows!" Alison begged him.

"I said shut up you WHORE!" He pushed her off his dick and bent her over the couch. He dug his thick hands into her ass and pumped.

"Jack off." He yelled at me over Alison's squeals.

"What?"

"I said, get in her face and choke that little cock of yours. You stupid son of a bitch!"

I did.

Watching Alison get fucked like that was a totally new experience for me, like actually being part of a porno, instead of just sitting of the couch and stroking it. I was excited, and could feel it building in my toes. When I came all over her face and open mouth Roy yelled, "Make her swallow it all! Make her lick it off your balls! Lick it you bitch! I know you want it! Eat it!"

She did.

He came shortly after, shooting his cum a good three feet across her breasts and neck. He let her drop to the floor, went to the kitchen and brought back three beers and passed them around.

Alison picked herself up off the floor, walked over to her husband and put her arm around him. "Oh baby, I'm so sorry. I just wanted what I thought you didn't want to give me. I thought I had to do something to make you love me. Something drastic something to get you going all those other women it hurts me I love you."

Roy smiled and took a swig of his beer. "That's my little slut." He said and kissed her on the forehead. "I love you too, you mean everything to me."

"This is love?" I said shaking my head.

Alison turned and said to me, "Do you know of any other kind?"